The consistent man. Wives, bosses, society and especially children cannot stand an inconsistent man. Actually, men can’t handle it either. Our marriages suffer, our jobs will suffer, society breakdowns and our children will find replacement ‘Hero’ characters in their lives, if their dads aren’t consistent. Just because it’s tough, doesn’t allow us men the right to falter. Suck it up buttercup. It’s called being a man. Ladies are gonna love this blog...men you’re gonna need this blog. Ladies, let’s start with you. Relax. Do not take the opportunity to rub, smear, dunk or flick anything in your mans face. This is way the wrong time. And if ur husband doesn’t know about this blog yet and you get to a point you wish he would read it but you can’t be the one to share it with him...I encourage you to instead introduce him to my blog first, Men need to build mutual respect before they receive any mutual advice. But, please take it easy as you read this. You know men carry a natural ego, and sometimes a big one. They hate being wrong and yes I know, we sometimes respond like our kids. I want to help men see something positive in this, don’t mess it up and flip a positive into a negative. Deal? Now men. Here’s the deal. You’re consistency matters...everywhere. It is a dying characteristic of today’s world that needs to be resurrected. Men treating a women right. Missing their children’s sports/dances. Skipping out of work. Attending their church but not leading there. Over committing to things at home and under delivering on those promises. Here’s the deal. It’s a lot to handle. I get it. But being consistent is by a list item added at the bottom of your to-do list that you hope to get to one day. Consistency is a character issue. It must be fixed and worked on every second of everyday day. Honestly the character of children and our country demand it. Let’s talk disciplining kids. My wife has a hard time with this. Honestly it is cause of consistency. Most wives do. I hear often, babe can you help me with this (kid)? They are out of control and not listening to me. Now listen this is not my wife’s fault, this is called the way things work. Nothing more, nothing less. You are the man, she is the women and your kids should and do naturally respect the father figure in their life more. Unless you have already lost that respect, it is naturally created in us to look to a man as a more dominant figure therefore one we would rather not have a confrontation with. So, when your wife asks for help and you step in. Here’s the deal. You have got to be consistent. If you set a guild line and falter at the guideline, you know the response children have...live and learn. Let’s just talk kids as an example. Consistency with kids is so critical. Here are a couple ground rules I have for my own parenting:
1. Never say something you can’t back up. I hear parents all the time say, you just lost your iPad forever! Or I’m gonna through that xBox out if you ever do that again!! Let’s be real parents, those things cost like $500 each, you really gonna through either of them out?? No, you’re gonna realize the penalty didn’t match the crime. You will take the iPad/xBox away for the weekend, but they will get it back. So watch your words. Kids learn your style.
2. Find what your kids ‘pain’ is. I can take my daughters ‘lovie’ away, her little blanket she sleeps with, or just threaten to do it and that girl will stand up straight as a board to get it back. Once you learn their pain, or a few of them, (missing a sports game, no playing outside, etc) use those to your advantage. One, they are way easier for you to stand your ground on and not give in and two, the child learns your consistency and begins to learn new behaviors.
3. Find your voice. I can whistle real loud. So yea, I’m the dad that can whistle and my kids could be in a jumpy castle with 30 other kids and if I just give them a second, they will make their way to entrance and poke their head out and ask what I want. Talk about trained behavior. That only happens because of consistency. Early on, if they didnt respond, they were educated on what I wanted after I whistled. The next time, they got a small discipline if they didn’t respond and eventually they lost a privilege if they didn’t respond. Now, it takes one whistle and my kids are like little prairie dogs. Their little heads pop up and all look the same way at the same time. Another thing I do, is I have a specific voice I use when I’m serious followed by a specific look on my face if the voice doesn’t immediately work. Most men remember their dad’s look. Here’s the deal though, you have to be consistent. Do not mess around with these things. Use them only when needed and follow though so the pattern is learned. Now this was just kids. Be consistent with your wife when you say you are going to do something. If u can’t do it now or know there may be a chance u can’t get to it. Be honest, say you can’t, give her a timeline and stick to that. Your wife would much rather you say, I can’t do that now, but I will in the next 30 mins. Especially if you build a track record that she knows you will do it when u said you would. Be consistent. With you job, boss or business. If you say you’re going to be there at 9am. Don’t show up at 9:05am with a legit excuse as to why you are late. I don’t care what happened that made you late...you should have planned better. That’s called being more consistent with your time management. Leave on time, hold up your word, if you say you’re gonna do it. Do it. Be the kind of man that people respect because of your consistency. Not one that people say, don’t worry he’s never on time. People like that have a hard time making it in life.
Bottom line is this, your character is everything that you have. Your character is determined by the choices you make everyday, they form into your daily habits which is what people really are judging when they think about your character. They ask, what kind of man is he. Does he hold his word? Does he do what he said he was gonna do? Do he show up? Even, is he consistent with how he may cancel something? Does he make the executive all hours before as to whether he must cancel or does he wait till 5 minutes before when everyone else has already shown up to cancel?? What kind of man are you?? Want to take a humble approach to growing as a better man? Ask around. I was encourage years ago in a book called Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill (unbelievable read, I’ve read it at least 6 times) to write down 5 names of people I respected. Names of people that had characteristics that I wanted to develop and make better in me. Then, spend the time and call each one. Not for a cheesy phone call, oh no, not that easy, but to ask to meet up for a cup of coffee. Ask for an hour of their time. Go sit with them, come prepared with questions specific to those qualities you want grow in and go find out how to become better. I did that...I remember every conversation. Some of the quotes I reflect back on in my life that were the life changing quotes that impacted me to this day, came from those conversations. The world needs more consistent men. Consistent men have a trickle down affect on the rest of the world. Our children have stronger bonds and less confusion. Our marriages show strength and commeradriery. Our businesses flourish. Moral improves. Numbers go up. All of this effects society. Our cities, our towns, our communities and most importantly, our churches. Work on your consistency daily. It’s not a list item you can get to later.